Just thought I'd continue with this theme a little bit. The shift lead for the shift directly after mine (I'll call him RR) is newer than many of the people here, and he was asking about people who had been fired or had quit in the past year. My own shift lead (Z) was telling him about these people. RR asks of one of them soon, "was he a good admin?" Z keeps going, and tells about more. Alyssa comes up. She worked here very briefly, left when she got a better offer with another job, if I recall right. Z mentions she's "one of the only girls they hired as an admin," to which RR asks "Was she hot?" I groan a little. He follows it up, laughing stupidly "I mean, lets here the important part." Let me emphasize something: he was being jovial, but he wasn't joking in the sense that he didn't believe what he was saying. I stand up and tell him he's being BLATANTLY sexist. He asks "what?" and looks confused. I tell him he can be as disrespectful to whatever group he likes as vocally as he wants, but he needs to be careful what he says at work. I don't care if it is the middle of the night, this isn't cool.
I don't know if it mattered to him or not that it was the night. I don't know if it mattered to most people. It's just so accepted now. And he wasn't kidding that he saw nothing wrong with it either. Most don't seem to. Lets see if we can maybe go for a society where a specific group isn't thought to be there just for us to look at, eh?
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yeah. That's fucked up. I'm not surprised though. As a woman who recently moved closer to the ideal by societal standards of beauty (not even beauty. "cuteness", petite things are pleasing to men because they're small and harmless) but only by virtue of an unusual (and probably unhealthy) accidental weight loss, I understand that I'm getting more positive responses from men professionally. They want me around, even after they know I'm gay, because being surrounded by young, "thin" women reflects well upon them. THAT's pretty fucking fucked up, if you ask me. I think that's scary and dangerous. Also, now that there are men in superior roles to me that know I'm gay, they'll try to "man-bond" with me, "She's pretty hot, don't you think?", said more fraternally than lasciviously, and now I'm starting to understand that men enjoy their power. Men enjoy their power and they enjoy enjoying it together. Shared pleasure in being the default dominant sex. It's fucked.
But I'm a woman. I'm a woman who thinks other women are hot and I'm not above asking, you, for instance "well, was she hot?" not because I'm interested myself that there is a potentially hot woman out there for myself somewhere, but because based on your answer, I might have to include and entire new set of hypothetical relationship data strands in my head. I also just want to know if she's hot. It might be better if we walked around asking eachother "well, did you notice yourself being attracted to her in an intellectual way?"
"Yes, good, how about emotional compatibility?"
"Excellent, did you respect her opinions?"
"wonderful, and were you also perhaps sexually excited by her?"
Because I'll tell you. When we ask "is she hot?" what we get in response from our close friends is a monologue-style treatise on their cognitive, social, political, and physical attributes.
"Is she hot?" is not an inherently sexist question I think. I think it depends on the answer we're looking for when we ask it.
After saying all that for some reason: I really do think those two assholes at work were just being sexist pig assholes.
so, were they hot?
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