I'd like to start blogging again, so here's a post about something that's as good as any I'll ever write.
"When you tremble with indignation at every injustice, then you are a comrade of mine"
--Ernesto Guevara
I had a conversation earlier which uplifted me more than most. Let me preface this by saying I am a feminist. I care about women and society, how we see gender, how it needs to be corrected very badly. My views are summed up as well as anything by something my friend Kevin Garvey said in the conversation I'll later describe, I'll mark that with an asterisk, but I feel the need to explain further.
My freshman orientation showed me more should be for this, one moment especially affirmed this: a 'game' of sorts was made to highlight the understanding of different types of people (from different point of view to different ethnicity), and the stereotypes which are wrongly applied to them. My orientation group was set in a line, and different such groups would be read by the leader in the format of a statement aligning one with that identity (e.g. "I am Jewish," "I am African-American," "I am a liberal") those to whom the statement applied would walk ten or so feet from the line and stand facing them, and then stereotypes which students had written of such a group were then read. I heard "I am a feminist," and, immediately, walked to face the group. It surprised me out of the six women and four other men of my group, I was the only one to do so. After this ended, one of the orientation leaders, whom I knew to also be a feminist, came and told me she was surprised and glad that I walked over, considering it is always such a small group that does so, and that I was the first male she had seen do so after all of the orientation groups she'd had in two years. I told her I was sad that this was the case, and that more did not do so.
I sat outside the atrium, eating, picnic style with Dan, Kevin, and Steve. At one point in the conversation, Steve mentioned self-defense courses for women, and how it's bullshit that they may very well be needed in our society. "Think of what a woman needs to do not to get raped," he was saying, possibly speaking of his class discussion, "take self defense, carry mace, be accompanied in many situations, dress differently." I don't think I even need to tell you, the list continues. I could probably think of more myself, and I probably failed to remember more that were mentioned.
Then he said the next part of this: "What does a man need to do not to get raped?" The only thing that we really thought of, speaking for the general case here, is not go to prison. This isn't to say men don't get raped, but that's the only precaution that we have any pressing need to take, if it can be called that.
Self-defense classes, awareness of situations, these were considered, but the best response, from Kevin: "How about people learn to fucking respect their fellow human beings?"*
Damn right. That's what's needed. Respect. For people. Guess who isn't, in every part of society, getting a deserved amount of that? This isn't hard, and I'm not aboutto say the problem is in the least minimal. I was pleased to find myself among three other guys, all of them very enthused about that. I'd also like to see more.
I've had a disturbing and revealing past couple of ears by listening and knowing people. Off of the top of my head I can think of three women at the very least who had some experiences in which this was the sole issue, and I probably am again forgetting a few. I can think of, among these, even one instance of rape. Not a violent case, but one which no less highlights the issue: women are not respected nearly enough, and because they aren't major damage is done. All of the cases showed a similarity that the woman in question in each case was harmed by this mentally and emotionally. Usually accompanied by a vast loss of self-respect, which turned out to make things far harder for each of them. I talked to the person I mentioned that was raped at great lengths few months after this, and when I realized what this was a case of, and how much it changed things for her, I knew how absolutely crucial this issue was, and believe me it is.
In the other cases, it was usually blatant use of another person, by whatever means. This must have involved, for at least that time, a complete absence of respect for and care for the other person. I cannot imagine how deeply into society this lack of respect must reach. I just know the implications extend beyond this into the daily lives of women in our culture and probably every other culture on this planet. I know that, because I've listened, because I've observed the behaviours and heard the stories of my fellow human beings, I am very much changed and will speak and act as I can in order to express this. Join me and the multitudes who also understand.
I tremble. Do you?
